Urban Gardening: Take 1

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I’m trying to grow things.

Eventually, I grew tired of reading so many incomplete directions (i.e. no packet ever tells you how many seeds to put in the hole). Full sun, partly sunny-so much information. I finally just put them all outside. Let God work it out.

I had a cactus once. I also have a cat that I’ve kept alive for six years. However, cats and cacti are the most low maintenance creations, on earth. Basil and zinnias? Not so much.
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My carbidopa arrived this afternoon. Such a surprise. I thought the mail was off today.

Time to begin.

me, myself & ana

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Last Supper

I’m so swollen. My stomach feels like it’s going to burst.

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Tomorrow, I start my pills.

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I’m sure they’ll kill my appetite so this will be the last good binge meal I’ll have in awhile.
;

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I have an appointment at a weight loss clinic this afternoon. They’ll probably prescribe me phen and topiramate; my BMI is just under 30. I had lost 40 lbs but I’ve gained about 20 back. It’s easier to feel unwanted when you’re ugly than when you’re trying your best not to be. However, my weight was the only positive thing I had in my life. I want something to feel good about again. Pills should make it easier, too.

This time I know that I’m the only one who will care. I don’t expect men will notice. I’ll still be ignored, won’t get asked out and be alone. This is just for me. It’d be nice to fine an online support community, though.

If I work really hard, maybe I’ll look like this woman, in nine months. I just want to feel skinny for once. I want to look as invisible as I feel.

me, myself & ana

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Sometimes It Isn’t Enough to Hear That We are Enough

From: For Harriet – Sometimes it Isn’t Enough to Hear That We are Enough

I’ve been shamed into not saying this aloud. I did want to feel good enough, but I don’t think it’s possible, regardless of how much I lower the bar.

Anyway, I understand this feeling in others and don’t think it shoul be shamed into silence.

Day100: Jesus is the reason.

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Although I’m ecstatic about my new 10ft iphone cord (a 3ft cord makes no sense), the Jesus story outdid anything I could’ve taken a picture of.

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Best line from the article:

Somebody called the cops on Jesus.

And during Lent, nonetheless. The nerve.

Great way to end my 100 happy days. 🙂

Day99: foods.

20140414-212247.jpgCheese, basil and humus will completely undo/halt my day. But I love it.

(I would be enjoying this with a glass of wine, but in the state of NC, you can’t buy alcohol before noon, which means I have to grocery shop twice if I go on Sundays mornings. (>_<)

The Real Superheros.

“Little Girls Are Better At Designing Superheroes Than You” is a small project where I draw superheroes based on the costumes of young girls.

This original submission is The Curly Girlie!

From the mother: “Her superhero is named The Curly Girlie. She uses her long curly hair to lasso the bad guys, and has laser vision.”

Website: Little Girls R Better at Designing Superheroes Than You

This designer pretty much guaranteed that my future daughter would had the coolest Halloween costumes ever.

Day98: sisters.

Sorority picnic.

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Day97: the snoring cat.

I don’t know how my sister sleeps at night. His snoring is out of control, but quite funny, as long as you don’t have to spend the night. (There’s sound but I can’t get it to upload from my iPhone so I’ll fix it later.)

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